Is this a start? Or an end?

I finally understood. I finally learned to trust my intuition cuz its always right. I lie to myself the most number of times. I always know the answers to the questions that I ask, but I just ask them anyway.

Now I know why there are so many things that I'd give up for you, and yet there are none that you'd give up for me. Now I know why there are times you can just totally forget about my existence. Now I know why there are so many times you'd do stuff that saddens me, but you just do it anyway. Now I know my fears are not unfounded. Go ahead and treat me like a stand in. Go ahead and call on me only when you have nobody else to call upon. Go ahead and cry on my shoulder when you can't find any one else to find comfort in. Go ahead and use me. Go ahead and bask in my love. Please do. And after it all, say thank you and leave. Go away.

I thought it was real. I believed that it was real. I think I have the ultimate power of bluffing myself. The end is near. I'm smelling it. And when that day comes, I think I can never trust another again.